Conflicting Thoughts: Not So Bad

I have two thoughts in my head right now, both of them are true.

In the first, I'm staring at a calendar that reads SEPTEMBER and wondering when did that even happen and someone please slow down the clock already because 2025 was far away until about 5 minutes ago and there is still more I want to squeeze out of this year and out of my life.

In the second, I am noticing fresh buds on the trees. I observe confetti-like pink petals impressively resistant to the cold evening temperatures. I admire a handful of early daffodils sprouting against a backdrop of snow-capped mountains. Soon it will be the season of open-toed shoes, fresh cut grass, a chilled glass of rosé at happy hour. Spring! Hurry up and get here!

These thoughts are not mutually exclusive, but they do switch places over time, with one occupying the foreground while the other moves off to the side, and then back again. Like when my dog gets on the couch with me and slowly stretches out over the course of an evening, leaving me huddled at the far end, hugging my knees like I'm preparing for a somersault. Once I realize what's happening I extend my legs again, nudging her toward the middle and reclaiming the space that was mine. And back and forth we go.

There is a quote by F. Scott Fitzgerald where he states, “The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposing ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.”  Helpful, if true.

What about you?  Do you also have different thoughts, shifting back and forth over time? Are these thoughts conflicting or just needing a little real estate of their own? How do you find the balance between the two, in order to function?

For example, maybe you're wanting to slow down and appreciate what you have, but also feel compelled to achieve more, earn more, save more? 

Is it possible you feel yourself thrive in periods of uncertainty, but seek the comfort of a stable environment? Can both be true of the same person, at the same time? 

As your coach, I won't tell you what to think or what to feel. What I will do is help you see the patterns of your own thinking, and help you recognize when certain thoughts are taking up too much room on the proverbial couch, and how that might be impacting your performance or behavior.

You might find that working with a coach is hard work and a test of your self awareness. You also might find that it's rewarding and uncovers strengths you didn't know you had. You might even discover this all at once. No surprise here, I would never doubt your first-rate intelligence. 

Different Endings

I love to read, but the real satisfaction comes at the end, when I finish the book. It's a genuine sense of accomplishment, no matter the book. Fleeting, yes, but genuine.

I can pinpoint the feeling to that brief time between scanning the acknowledgements and digesting what I have read, and beginning to think about what I want to read next.

There are always so many options. Good options. Like the first day of vacation in a well-appointed hotel room, looking around and asking “what pre-paid amenity am I going to use first?”

I finished an excellent book this week called Master Slave, Husband Wife: An Epic Journey from Slavery to Freedom by author and historian, Ilyon Woo. I recommend it to anyone who might enjoy what is essentially a love story about a self-emancipated husband and wife, written against the backdrop of the mid-to-late 1800s, a period of great historical significance and turmoil in America. The book is dutifully researched and beautifully written. It's a true story.

Woo observes that “every story begins with a question or a quest,” and admits that while her two protagonists met the very goals they set out to reach —freedom, safety, literacy and a family of their own— their story includes many different endings along the way, not all of them happy, which is what makes it so compelling. It has different pieces, she explains, “because it doesn't simply end where they're achieving their self- emancipation.”

And now I can't get this thought out of my head. All the endings that make up our own personal history, moving us along to the next person, place or thing. It's a thought that raises a question or two.

What have your endings looked like, and where did they take you next? What forces were at play?

What happens when you reach your goal, or destination? Do you let go for a while, relinquishing momentum so you can finally relax? Maybe savor your achievement, creating space and readjusting your focus to something new?

Or do you double down on the energy and determination that helped you get there? No rest for the weary, as has been said, there is always more to do and more to accomplish. Is that you?

If you've been reading my weekly missives along the way, you know I'm not writing to dole out any advice. I'm here to ask questions.

As your coach, I'll pose a variety of questions I hope will knock loose an idea, release a sense of clarity, or crack open a motivation that's been stuck and perhaps even causing you discomfort, like a chia seed between your teeth.

At this point in life you have your own personal history that also includes different endings—some happy, others maybe not. Different pieces that make your story compelling. So what's up next for you? What will your next ending look like and what will it lead to? How can I help? Get in touch, I would love to know.

Me? I've got another book to finish, and another one after that.